Almost everyone around the globe has been experiencing a constant threat for the past year. And along with that threat, a feeling of powerlessness. So, it is no surprise that control issues are emerging as one of the most common psychological side effects of the pandemic. As well, the rate of suicide and clinical depression has risen sharply over the past year to an unprecedented high, especially among children and teens.
Humans are social animals. Belonging helps us maintain a feeling of structure and safety. Perhaps that is why, when we feel threatened, we conform so readily to social rules and accede our personal rights to authority figures such as government.
What causes control issues?
Control issues = I don't feel safe. It's an instinctive psychological response that occurs when you feel threatened, unsafe, and powerless. Considering that security is your most basic need, wanting to feel in control would seem to be perfectly normal.
You have 7 basic needs ...
Belonging ~ Self Esteem ~ Love ~ Happiness ~ Safety/Security ~ Fulfillment ~ Challenge/Growth
When these 7 basic needs are met you feel secure and happy.
Did you know that by the time a child is 5 years old, he or she has already decided what they need to do in order to survive? Imagine having to make such monumental life choices at such an early age!
Control issues start with our parents. When a child is subjected to criticism, neglect, verbal or physical abuse, bullying, or when a child feels abandoned, unloved, or that he or she has no choice or control over what is happening, that child quickly decides the only person they can truly count on is self.
Parental divorce is the #1 way a child feels powerless over his or her life or future. More than 50% of children experience a family breakup. In an effort to protect their children, parents may try to shield them from what is happening. But, children can sense when something is wrong. Not having all the facts and information only creates even more insecurity and fear. Imagination is a powerful thing, and all too abundant in children.
Too often children become the pawns or weapons in a relationship breakup or a custody battle. Using a child to hurt or punish another person (especially someone they love), telling a child that their other parent doesn't love them, or telling a child that their father or mother left because they did not love them (placing blame for the breakup on the child), or asking a child to choose their loyalties (one or the other parent), is the worst possible kind of parenting.
When children begin to lose trust, faith, or respect in their parents and authority figures, they act out. They create unhealthy false beliefs about themselves, about life, and about relationships, built on the evidence of their own negative personal experience: "Don't trust those in power. They will hurt or use you." "I can only count on me. Everyone else will let me down." "Avoid loving people. It's not safe." "Love doesn't last." "My parents didn't love me. They cared more about themselves than me." "I am not lovable." "This is my fault." "Love has to be earned." "I am only lovable if I am perfect." "If I can't trust my parents, who can I trust?" If I love someone I will get hurt."
Children carry these unhealthy mental conclusions into adulthood where these false beliefs becomes unconscious and habitual, governing their actions and outlook. You see, control issues are born out of feeling fear, powerlessness, and insecurity. And that starts when you are very young and only 2' tall in a very big world.
The 10 faces of CONTROL:
A person who feels insecure will create corresponding control responses and behaviours that eventually develop into self-limiting, freedom-choking lifestyles that hold them back in every aspect of life and make them unhappy prisoners. Our control mechanisms start out as safety nets. But, they end up becoming self-limitations that cause us to feel 'stuck'. Worse yet, we can't figure out why we're stuck.
Do you know someone who has one or more of these control behaviours? Which control face do YOU wear?
- Defensive Autonomy: “I can only rely on myself. Everyone else will let me down.” or "If I don't let anyone in, I can't get hurt." or "I will leave before someone has a chance to reject or leave me."
- Critical/Analytical: “If I don’t do it myself, it won’t get done right.”
- Suppression/Submission: “If I stay quiet, agreeable and don’t speak up, I won't experience disruption and can stay safe.”
- Perfectionist: “I must be perfect in order to be loved.” "Everything has to be just right before I can be happy/have a relationship (etc)."
- Workaholic: “If I work hard and over-achieve, I will earn love, appreciation and praise, or become worthy of love.”
- Under-achiever: “If I stay in this unfulfilling dead-end job or relationship, I will stay safe. I won’t have to take risks or try something and fail.” or "Better what I know than what I don't know."
- Powerless: “If I stay an invalid, victim, or helpless and in need of others, then others will nurture me and I won’t be abandoned.”
- Depression/Numbness: “If I don’t let myself feel, I can’t suffer pain, anguish or helplessness.”
- Empath: “If I can ‘read’ the emotional energy of those around me, I can adjust my behaviour, actions and words to give people what they want and need.” (This is the core reason for empathic abilities to develop)
- Narcissist: "If I manipulate or control other people's perceptions of me, and appear perfect, I can ensure that they will love me and will not abandon or leave me."
- Nurturer/Rescuer: “I want to make sure others have what I never had.” or “I want to ensure the same trauma/experience does not happen to others.” or "If I am indispensable and my family and others need me, they won't leave me."
- Fixer: "If I can fix/change this troubled man and make him love me, it will prove that my father was wrong for not loving me and for leaving me." or "If I can solve other people's problems, they will need me." or "If I am indispensable, I won't be abandoned/fired/rejected."
So, why would we want to release control issues, when they help us stay safe and avoid pain? Control behaviours and their corresponding childhood experiences and beliefs form the very root of your unhealthy personal beliefs about life and empower any negative emotional issue you might harbour now. Having 'rules' to create a feeling of safety and keep you from getting hurt by others only limits your life experiences and choices and prevents you from creating change. It keeps you feeling inexplicably stuck.
That's why many of our protocols begin with a control release essence fusion. Once you release your control issues you will begin to respond to life, rather than reacting. You will be able to more easily release your negative feelings without resorting to one of your backup control behaviours. You'll feel more free, unencumbered, spontaneous, and able to go with life's daily flow. You can begin to have adventures and attract synchronicity. Your relationships will improve. In fact, your entire perspective of reality can change to one that is more life affirming.
We offer several control-releasing essence fusions. These products address different aspects of mental control, allowing for greater personal and emotional freedom:
I Am Flexible ~ Control Release ~ Flow ~ Serenity ~ Divorce Heal ~ Open Heart
Releasing personal control is only the first step in reclaiming a happy, free life. When we create a protocol for you, (via one of our testing procedures) we follow a 3-step process. The next step is to heal the past by removing the emotional charge of your negative past experiences. Once that is accomplished, we can then replace the old feelings with positive, life-affirming feelings such as self esteem, self nurturing, empowerment and love.
That, by the way, is why we give you a discount when you order 3 or more essence fusions on-line. We want you to choose your own 3-step protocol to reclaim emotional balance.
1) Release mental control --> 2) Heal the past --> 3) Instil self-esteem, self-nurturing, empowerment and happiness
Step #3 is repeated once a month for 3-5 days. We do this to prevent you from falling back into an habitual disempowered state.
Don't forget to assist your children when they are going through challenging change such as a family breakup, re-location, foster care, bullying, or isolation due to the pandemic. We offer gentle live flower frequencies fusions designed especially for for the needs of children. We don't try to address or fix psychological issues in children. We simply help them to feel happy and feel good about themselves. Most often that the best kind of help you can give your children!
UN-Learn your life ...
Would you like support with shifting your life, your beliefs, and your emotional state of being? That's why we're here! YES ... We have now resumed photo testing services for our essence fusions! (Sorry: custom testing services will not be available until after the release our upcoming home study program)
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